Monday, April 6, 2020
My Antonia Essays - My Ntonia, Antonii, Willa Cather, My Antonia
My Antonia "My Antonia," by Willa Cather has many symbols through out the novel. Symbolism reflects her own views as a child through her life. Some of these symbols are Jim's grandomother's garden and snake-killing incident. Jim's grandomother's garden made him fell as a part of nature, as human beings originally were in the Garden of Eden. When he came to the garden he would also wonder if people felt like this when they died and became a part of knowledge, goodness, sun and air. His maturity makes him feel how he really feels about Antonia. Jim was always afraid to tell Antonia how he felt about her. Ever since Jim laid eyes on her, he knew that she was the love of his life, but didn't want to tell her because of the big difference of the social classes. Jim often wondered if Antonia could serve as a motherm friend, lover or sweetheart. In the garden Jim and Antonia would play around, work in the garden and picked potatos. The garden symbolizes the freedom that children enjoyed during the youth years. When the sanke-incident happens Antonia brags about how brave Jim was. Antonia exclaimed to Jim's family, "He fight something awful! He is all over Jimmy's boots. I scream for him to run, but he jsut hit an hit that snake like he was crazy. (Page 33). At this point Jim realizes that Antonia was more that a friend but Antonia sees him more like a little brother especially since he is four years younger than him. Work can also be another symbol in the term that Antonia worked hard in the farm. "Her neck came up strongly out of her shoulders, like the hole of a tree out of the turf" Cather emphasizes. Antonia goal was to prove her mother that she can work as well as Ambrosch leads her to compete with the men plowing and to pick up masculine traits that overshadow her feminity. Antonia would always work hard in the fields and people knew she was a hard worker. This symbol of work showes how she does not give up even though she is a girl. Through out the novel symbolism is often used in every chapter. Willa Cather often used symbolism portaining to Jim and Antonia. Willa Cather thought that using symbolism would bring more meaning to the novel.
Sunday, March 8, 2020
Rubber bands Essays
Rubber bands Essays Rubber bands Paper Rubber bands Paper The aim of this experiment is to find how the amount of stretching, when shooting a rubber band, affects the length of the shot. Hypothesis When you stretch an elastic rubber band, you store potential elastic energy inside it. When the rubber band is released, the potential elastic energy will be transformed into the same amount of kinetic energy. This will cause the rubber band to move, and the more kinetic energy we have, the longer the rubber band will fly. Thus, the more stretching performed on the rubber band, the longer it will fly. Stand, double muff, 2 flags, 2 rubber bands with an circumference of 0. 20 respective 0. 22 m, measuring tape with an uncertainty of , and a ruler with an uncertainty of . Procedure The experiment was performed indoors at normal room temperature. We of course began to set up our equipment in a proper way. (see picture) The setup ensured that we would have the same angle of the rubber band in each shot. Three different lengths between the flags were used, 0. 15 m, 0. 20 m and 0. 25 m. When the rubber bands were attached to the flags, the total circumference of the rubber bands then became 0.30 m, 0. 40 m and 0. 50 m, and the increase in length of the rubber band was different dependent on which rubber band was used (see table). Rubber 1 was not as slack, as thin, and had a smaller circumference than rubber 2. Five shots with each rubber band on each length were done, and a mean value was calculated. The values were inserted into a diagram in order to increase and simplify the comprehension of the result. The following result was reached when investigating the shot length on different stretching lengths: These values are then inserted in a graph, which looks like following:On the x-axis we have the stretch of the rubber band in meters, and on the y-axis we have the shot length in meters. The different points represent the length of the shots on different stretching values. The lines are drawn to best fit. Conclusion We see a clear result, and it does indeed follow our hypothesis. The more the rubber band is stretched, the longer the shot length becomes. As kinetic energy is required for anything to move, we can draw the conclusion that that kinetic energy must have come from somewhere, and in this case it was the potential elastic energy in the rubber band, which was stored in it when stretched. However, another interesting result was reached. As we see in the diagram, the lines drawn to best fit are not linear, but shaped as curves. This implies that the increase in shot length is not correlating to the increase in stretching. As the table and the diagram show, the flight in meters per stretched meter decreases the more you stretch the rubber band. We also see that the curves cross each other. Rubber 2, which had a shorter flying distance, would when stretched only 0. 004 m, have a greater range than rubber 1 with the same stretching. This low value of stretching of course is quite hard to measure as you probably would not have been able to release the rubber band at all. Perhaps if you would have used rubber bands in a larger scale and with some differentiating property, a difference would have been possible to actually measure. However, to draw any conclusion like this from the graph probably should not be done. Our measuring points are nowhere close to the actual crossing of the lines, but at least a hint about what might happen is given, even though we can not draw any certain conclusions.
Friday, February 21, 2020
International Business Law COmparative between Unidroit principles and Essay
International Business Law COmparative between Unidroit principles and Al-Majala - Essay Example Man is weak in nature, where he is dependent on industries, clothing, housing, and food for his survival. In short, he is civilized and cannot live like animals, but rather in need of association and co-operation in order to work with fellow human beings to be able to live well (AL-Majalla 1-17). According to AL-Majalla (1-17), each person has the things which he likes and dislikes, and as a result, laws have been established in order to maintain justice and order which regard to, social relations, marriage and mutual help which is civilization in general. The first distribution Islamic Law in the Al-Majala, there is a sector which deals with domestic relations, second deals with civil obligation and the last deals with punishments. In that regard, this paper aims at comparing Business International Law between Unidroit principles and Islamic Law in the Al-Majala. Islamic business laws principles in the Al-Majala requires that any transactions should be conventional of particular tra nsactions. The effects of contracts should also be given meaning and intention of phrases and words, which means that the subject sale of the contract had a right to redeem and pledge. To add to this, certainty is not proved by doubts, and a basic principle that everything remains as original as possible. For example, things should be left as they were, since time immemorial because there was no injury that existed back then. Additionally, liability freedom is an essential principle, and therefore, if an individual destroys another personââ¬â¢s property, as dispute arise in the name of the amount, the testimonial of the person who caused the destruction is heard, and the responsibility of the proof of any sum lies in the property owner, (AL-Majalla 1-17). AL-Majalla (1-17) also claims that Non-existence is an essential principle that applies to each right that comes up. For instance, partnership case of labor and capital, where a dispute comes up whether there is any profit made or not. Normally, the statement of the individual who has the responsibility of labour supply is heard, and the capital owner must have a proof of profits being made, because the main principle is profit non-existence. However, judgment is given in regard to matter that is approved at that time, unless any other proves are provided. Therefore, if the case is proved at that time, a specific item belongs to a person, then the ownership shall be said to be valid unless proven otherwise, which can invalidate the ownership. The Islamic principle in Al-Majala also requires that if there are any upcoming occurrences, they shall be considered as happenings, which happen at the near present. This means that, if any dispute comes up in regard to the time and causes of the event, then such events are referred to the time which is near to the present, unless proven that it relates to some other period. Words are also literally construed, and no attention is paid to any inferences in facts that are obvious claims. This is because, if the text seems to be clear, then there is no need for interpretation. In fact, in Islamic law, matter which has been contrary proved as analogy, which is legal, are not termed as analogy ways in regard to other matters. This means that legal interpretations do not destroy each other. Difficulties cause facility, and therefore, in case of any hardships there must be considerations. This can well be explained by
Wednesday, February 5, 2020
Designing marketing campaign for ExxonMobil Qatar Coursework
Designing marketing campaign for ExxonMobil Qatar - Coursework Example The main target groups of the marketing strategies are the customers, the shareholders, business partners and host governments. Some of the marketing strategies employed here include advertising that is done through print media, car stickers, TV commercials as well as internet based advertisements. The TV commercials serve to complement the print media such as magazines, newspapers, and business journals. The adverts have the company profile and the financial programming. They are run on the Arabic networks such as JSC and MBC.The Company has also been able to organize sports as a way to make it known for the products as well as the services it offers in the market. Some of the sports have included the organization of tennis, hockey and golf tournaments that are usually based in Doha ("ExxonMobil Qatar Inc," n.d.). The events are organized by the Qatar Olympic committee that oversees the participation. The company has also been supporting science and technology in the schools by recruiting some of the best University students in Qatar into the company making it well known all over the region. The company has also been able to embrace technology and has now been able to market its products through the internet marketing strategies through their websites as well as social networking sites such as twitter, Face book among others ("ExxonMobil Qatar Inc," n.d.). The company has also been engaging in activities that are in tandem with corporate social responsibility they have been able to promote safety awareness in the region through what they call the pink t-shirt campaign. Through this the company supports relief services all over the world. The business women an award that acknowledges successful women is also some form of marketing Campaign. Through the marketing campaigns the company has been able to reach its customers in the region. Requests for partnerships have also been on the rise, since the inception of various marketing strategies. Most
Tuesday, January 28, 2020
The Misuse of Benzodiazepine
The Misuse of Benzodiazepine Introduction Benzodiazepine (BZD) misuse is a serious public health problem because it puts patients at higher risk of life-threatening drug overdoses for a long time.(Kevin W Chen,2011).In any case,the combination of effectiveness and risks of long-term use is the reason why BZD and other Tranquilizer drugs are too dangerous to deal with in clinical practice.Despite the fact that scientists have tried very hard to find an explanation for this issue, there is no recent study to assess how serious the problem is.However, BZD has killed a lot of people who use it for wrong purpose. The number of people taking prescribed BZD worldwide is considerable and over 1 million people in the UK are on long-term. (Dr Chris Ford,2014). For instance, Whitney Houston is the famous person who died because of BZD abuse. She died at the age of 48, which alarms the whole world . Whiney Houstonââ¬â¢s cause of death (Xanax is one kind of Benzodiazepine) BZD do not indicate for a long-term treatment of anxiety or insomnia like some people who have misunderstanded. Long-term use can cause withdrawal symptoms in many people. Withdrawal symptoms can be considered as including three main groups: anxiety symptoms, distorted perceptions and major incidents.Treatment can be divided into three options: talking therapies, cognitive behavioural therapies and self-help. Self-help is the most important in this three options so the result depends much on patients endeavour. Situation Benzodiazepines are a type ofmedicationknown as tranquilizers. Familiar names include Valium and Xanax. They are some of the most commonly prescribed medications in the United States. When people withoutprescriptionsobtain and take these drugs for their sedating effects, use turns into abuse.Scientific name of this symptom is Benzodiazepines misuse or Benzodiazepines drug abuse (Joseph Goldberg,2014). BZD is used by two main populations: low-dose prescribed benzodiazepine users and high-dose, non-prescribed benzodiazepine abusers. In the first population, two kinds of patients who misuse the BZD are pointed out by Professor Heather Ashton in his scientific research about drug abuse.First, there are many patients who are prescribed BZD for short term but then using as long-term drugs by the instruction of doctors. As Professor Ashton mentioned in his book, this kind of patients estimated at 4 million people in the U.S. and it is likely that half of them are dependent.Four million people is quite a significant number that is enough to raise our attention on this issue. Morever, there are lots of patients who are prescribed BZD but then increase the dose on their own. ââ¬Å"The more the betterâ⬠is frequently a fundamental thinking of patients who misuse the dose of BZD. Benzodiazepine abuse is a growing problem and carries serious risks to health and society. Professor C Heather Ashton In the second population, Non-prescribed benzodiazepine abusers (NBA) is the term used to describe patients who are use BZD for arbitrary purposes. Without the instruction of doctor, NBA use BZD frequently for recreational purpose that lead them to be addicted. Table 1. Some benzodiazepines used recreationally (UK, Europe and USA) Generic name Brand name (UK) Potency (approximate dose equivalent to 10mg diazepam) Alprazolam Xanax 0.5 Bromazepam Lexotan 5 Chlordiazepoxide Librium 25 Diazepam Valium 10 Flunitrazepam Rohypnol 1 Flurazepam Dalmane 15-30 Ketazolam1 Anxon 15-30 Lorazepam Ativan 1 Medazepam1 Nobrium 10 Nitrazepam Mogadon 10 Oxazepam Serenid 20 Prazepam1 Centrax 15 Temazepam Normison, Euhypnos 20 Triazolam1 Halcion 0.5 (Zopiclone)2 Zimovane) (15) (Zolpidem)2 (Stilnoct) (20) Notes No longer in British National Formulary. Non-benzodiazepine hypnotics with similar actions to benzodiazepines; may have abuse liability. In the US, flunitrazepam have become popular because of diversion of supplies across the Mexican border .Potent benzodiazepines such as triazolam (no longer available in the UK), alprazolam (widely prescribed in the US) and lorazepam have a good position in NBAââ¬â¢c choice. These drugs are popular among sedatives such as valium (diazepam a particular pharmaceutical, like seduxen) and xanax (alprazolam scientific name, is a very powerful sedative often used in cases of severe insomnia ) has been misused and cause many adverse consequences. The use of sedatives such as drugs and marijuana to stimulate the brain has led to many scandals in the world of celebrity publicity curious about the effects of this class of drugs.Furthermore, some people not just use Benzodiazepine singly. According to the research of DAWN in 2002, there are 78% of user who have used more than one tranquiziler . Using several drugs at the same time as benzodiadepine, tranquilizers, narcotic, antidepressants, can cause drowsiness, falls and some other negative effect on your health that you would not know briefly. Problems BZD rarely used as recreational drugs which make user feel ââ¬Å"highâ⬠.In the recent research, BZD is described to be valued on the same level as Cocaine or Alcohol. There is no doubt that it is difficult to estimate the extent of their ability to induce euphoria with psychic dependence and active drug-seeking behavior.(Doctor Cole JO,1990) The different types of BZD will have different effects on the body and on the extent of the time . Patients who use BZD simultaneously with heroin, alcohol or other addictive substances. The combined use of drugs is too dangerous because it is easy to lead to fatal cases for users. Impact of BZD to users depends on the following factors: The dose used (how many pills) Height, weight of the user Health status of users Experience using drugs before Have they used BZD with other addictive substances ? How to use (oral or injection) Using BZD individually or sharing with others Using BZD at home or at party Another study published in the BMJ paper in 2012 warned the wide use of benzodiazepine. The study concluded that the frequent use of drugs containing benzodiazepines are related to the risk of dementia.These studies have confirmed the use of benzodiazepines for long periods can adversely affect human perception and cause cognitive decline leading to dementia. The present study has shown the related connection between Benzodiazepines with the onset of dementia and Alzheimers disease. Alzheimer is the most common form of dementia syndromeandits disease is a condition that affects the brain, thinking and human behavior. A study published in the British Medical Journal (BMJ) has considered the relationship between the risk of Alzheimers disease and those who use benzodiazepines frequently. 1796 people,who were followed for a period of 5 years before they are tested, are diagnosed Alzheimer. Benzodiazepines is addictive and can cause severe withdrawal symptoms. It activates neurotransmitters in the same way as opium and marijuana. When users stop taking antidepressant drugs, they become extremely anxious. Withdrawal is possible in most patients who are dependent on benzodiazepines once problems related to prolonged use of benzodiazepines and other drugs are explained and discussed. Consideration needs to be given as to when and how to detoxify and extra help and services may be needed. Many people depend on BZD drugs find out that decreasing the dose of Benzodiazepine is very difficult due to the appearance of a withdrawal syndrome when the expression of discomfort occurs due to abrupt discontinuation. The manifestation of withdrawal syndrome include : Seizures Difficulty sleeping Worry, anxiety, stress Confusion and depression Feeling anxious, think others want to harm you Panic and feel extremely anxious Alienated, do not want to be close to others. Withdrawal symptoms can be dangerous. Besides affecting physical health, it also has a negative impact on the mental health of patients with symptoms caused prolonged and dangerous symptom for them.Since using BZD for a long period of time to satisfy the addiction, many patients died suddenly while using the drug. FIGURE 1. Percentage of opioid pain reliever and benzodiazepine drug abuseââ¬ârelated emergency department visits in the United States and drug-related deaths in 13 states that involved alcohol, by age group ââ¬â Drug Abuse Warning Network, 2010 The numbers in the chart FIGURE 1 are also the statistics of cancer patients who took an overdose of Benzodiazepine. In 2010, the percentage of ED visits that involved OPRs and alcohol was highest among persons aged 30ââ¬â44 years (20.6%) and 45ââ¬â54 years (20.0%).For the percentage of benzodiazepine ED visits was highest among persons aged 45ââ¬â54 years (31.1%). Among OPR deaths, persons aged 40ââ¬â49 years (25.2%) and 50ââ¬â59 years (25.3%) had the highest percentage of alcohol involvement. For benzodiazepine-related deaths, the highest percentage (27.7%) was among persons aged âⰠ¥60 years.From the chart, it can be concluded that aged 45-54 are much needed medical care due to abuse Benzodiazepine.Anxiety is one of the reasons for people of this age often have to use Benzodiazepines regularly. Due to the nature of work and the burden of earning money that they constantly faced with the stress of work and life that makes them easy to fall into a state of str ess, anxiety and insomnia also. Therefore, Benzodiazepines are frequently used as a drug to help them overcome such bad condition. Obviously, the use is so spontaneous, rarely comes from the prescription of doctors so it often causes serious problems affecting the health of workers. Long-term use easily become a habit and start adversely affect their health.It also lead to the problem that the chart showed above.Aged Upper 60 has the highest rate which means that Drug ,such as Benzodiazepine, is a major cause of their death. That is the consequence of using too much Benzodiazepine or some other Opioid Pain Relievers among the aged 30-44 and 45-54. Generally , besides the beneficial effects to the treatment, there are many problems that Benzodiazepines cause to the users . Solution When prescribed for severe insomnia or disabling anxiety, the guidance is clear that benzodiazepines should only be given for short-term relief (2ââ¬â4 weeks), which may occur alone or in association with short-term psychosomatic, organic, or psychiatric illness. They should be used in the lowest dose and for the shortest time. Benzodiazepines and other similar drugs are not indicated for the long-term treatment of anxiety or insomnia, unless in rare cases where the patient has been proven to have treatment-resistant anxiety or insomnia, i.e. resistant to psychological therapies and nonaddictive medications. The decision to prescribe in these circumstances is usually made by a specialist. The use of benzodiazepines is inappropriate to treat short-term mild anxiety. As mentioned in the Introduction part, talking therapies is one of useful cures for who suffer from withdrawal symptom. Talking therapies involve talking to someone who is trained to help you deal with your negative feelings. They can help anyone who is experiencing distress. You do not have to be told by a doctor that you have a mental health problem to be offered or benefit from a talking therapy. The therapy helps the patients facing their feelings and thoughts that lead them to feel insecure, afraid and the effect they have on their behaviour and mood. Describing whatââ¬â¢s going on in your head can help you notice any patterns which it may be helpful to change.It can help you work out where your negative feelings and ideas come from and why they are there. Understanding all this can help people make positive changes by thinking or acting differently. Talking therapies can help people to take greater control of their lives and improve their confidence so that people do not need any medicines like Benzodiazepine help themselves.(Mental Health Foundation) For the second option , Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) is an effective treatment performed either individually or in small groups, and has been found in some cases not only to be as effective as short-term prescription medication but may last beyond the withdrawal fromactive treatment. Cognitive behavior therapy has become increasingly popular in recent years with both mental health consumers and treatment professionals. Because CBT is usually a short-term treatment option, it is often more affordable than some othertypes of therapy. CBT is also empirically supported and has been shown to effectively help patients overcome a wide variety of maladaptive behaviors. The last treatmenat can be pointed out is self-help . Any illness will be cured very quickly if the patient attempts to overcome it. By increasing your self-awareness capabilities, self-help efforts can help you learn to recognize potential problems before they occur (or at least early on in their progression) so that you can head them off before they become substantial .This solution is really essential in treatment procedure . There is a quote : ââ¬Å"If you try hard you can succeed in reaching your goalâ⬠. It is the truth that no one can disagree. For more information, there are some basic solutions that people should know to have a good first aid for who suffer from overdose use of Benzodiazepine in emergency. Overdose is a condition occurs when the dose exceeds the tolerance of the body. If only use pure benzo drugs, but if used in combination with other drugs such as alcohol, heroin, or methadone, is likely a drug overdose and death. When someone with a drug overdose, besides the need to be alert and perform the following actions: Call 115 victims immediately or take patient to the nearest medical facility. Always on the side of the victim Try to calm , do not panic Find ways to keep victims province, helped victims go around, talk to the victim. If the patient is unconscious, check if the victim is breathing or not. It is important to make clear the airway for the victim. If the patient has stopped breathing, blow into the victims mouth (CPR). Let the patient lying on lean posture , then wait for an ambulance . Evaluation The use of sedative drugs (ATGN) often remarkably effective, to quickly get deep sleep. However, overuse or prolonged use of this class of drugs often cause unwanted consequences, affect the health of users. There are some solutions that I pointed out above which is really helpful for patients who misues Benzodiazepine . In my point of view, Talking therapies and self help are two main treatment that people can easily prefer , like what I mentioned in Introduction, self help has significant role in the process of treatment because no one can help you better than yourself . Self help often has some benefits : Self help is free of cost. Patients do not have to pay for treatment since it is individual treatment. Self help help patients intensify their brainââ¬â¢s work , steering themselves away from bad decision. Such as overusing Benzodiazepines. Lance Armstrong is a practical example. In 1996, he was diagnosed with testicular cancer with a tumor has spread to the brain and lungs, and the initial prognosis is bad. The process of his cancer treatments included brain and testicular surgery, chemotherapy prolonged. Though suffering from the deadly disease but he overcame it in spectacular way to return to the race .In 1999, he won Tour de France for the first time and keep this position 7 times in a row, was recorded in the history of cycling. In conclusion, Lance overcame the cancer mainly because of his endeavour. He tried his best to maitain his spirit, his mind during the treatment and he was successful. On the other hand, talking therapy is also a good choice for patients who suffer from using Benzodiazepine overdose that lead to withdrawal symptom. Talking about your thoughts and feelings can help you deal with times when you feel troubled about something. If you turn a worry over and over in your mind, the worry can grow.But talking about it can help you work out what is really bothering you and explore what you could do about it.Talking is an important part of our relationships. It can strengthen your ties with other people and help you stay in good mental health that is needed for the physical treatment . Conclusion Benzodiazepine misuse is an international issue which alarms people all over the world. The number of dead people because of overusing Benzodiazepines ,which is stated in Figure 1 Chart, is really considerable. Patients and prescribers alike commonly understand benzodiazepines poorly. Generally, patients find them helpful and would like doctors to prescribe them but patients need to be made fully aware of the problems they cause, particularly long-term use. Just because benzodiazepines are effective and reduce suffering quickly, does not mean that they are the best treatment to give.As what I introduced, there is not just one problem by using Benzodiazepine overdose. Dementia, cancer and withdrawal symptoms are three problems that I mentioned in Part 4. People may take benzodiazepines to try to relax, reduce withdrawal symptoms involved with other drugs, or enhance the effects of another drug or substance. Young people may self-medicate for internal pain and distress. They may see th eir parents taking medication and think this ist he way to solve their own problems and become dependent on BZD. Self help and talking therapy is two good option of treatment that steer patient far away from drugs like Benzodiazepines. In conclusion, using risky drug ,like Benzodiazepine, frequently is not a good habit . Everything has 2 sides .Thus, how to use Benzodiazepine effetively is still be a difficult question for people.
Monday, January 20, 2020
The Style of Milan Kundera :: Biography Biographies Essays
The Style of Milan Kundera ex is ten tial ism - A philosophy that emphasizes the uniqueness and isolation of the individual experience in a hostile or indifferent universe, regards human existence as unexplainable, and stresses freedom of choice and responsibility for the consequences of one's acts. This word has been used when describing Milan Kunderaââ¬â¢s style of writing. The term existentialism came from Jean Paul Sartre, a French philosopher. Existentialism emphasizes individual existence, freedom and choice. The philosophy focuses on the existence of man. Sartre believed that to be a true existentialist one must accept that there is no God therefore man is alone with only himself to rely on for all decisions. This gives man total freedom of choice. However with this total freedom comes the responsibility of knowing one must choose wisely. Kundera applies this philosophy to his characters in ââ¬Å"The Unbearable Lightness of Beingâ⬠. He shows us how the four lovers choices affect their lives. Will the characters choose lightness or weight? After seven years of living with the ââ¬Ëheavinessâ⬠of Tereza, Tomas thinks he will enjoy ââ¬Å"the sweet lightness of beingâ⬠(Kundera P 30) when she leaves him. However, he soon realizes that the lightness of her absence is swiftly replaced by the heaviness of her absence. Franz on the other hand leaves his wife for Sabina, but when Sabina rejects him and his wife will not take him back Franz finds that he enjoys the lightness of his life. Tomas wished to be free but found it was not what he wanted at all. Franz who wished to be tied reveled in his freedom. ââ¬Å"At last he ceased to be a little boy; for the first time in his life he was on his own.â⬠(Kundera p120) Sabina did not want to be Mari-Claude. She did not want to share a marriage bed with Franz, but when she left him her lightness was not joy, it was emptiness. ââ¬Å" What fell to her lot was not the burden [heaviness] but the unbearable lightness of being.â⬠(Kundera P 122) When Tereza has sex with the engineer she thought it would help her understand how Tomas could sleep with many women in lightness without the burden of love. Tereza thinks, ââ¬Å"How she [Tereza] wished she could learn lightness!â⬠(Kundera P143) Instead she thought if the engineer ââ¬Å"addressed her soulâ⬠she would have fallen in love with him at that instant.
Saturday, January 11, 2020
The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove Chapter 1
This one's for Mom Prologue September in Pine Cove is a sigh of relief, a nightcap, a long-deserved nap. Soft autumn light filters through the trees, the tourists go back to Los Angeles and San Francisco, and Pine Cove's five thousand residents wake up to discover that they can once again find a parking place, get a table in a restaurant, and walk the beaches without being conked by an errant Frisbee. September is a promise. Rain will come at last and turn the golden pastures around Pine Cove green, the tall Monterey pines that cover the hills will stop dropping their needles, the forests of Big Sur will stop burning, the grim smile developed over the summer by the waitresses and clerks will bloom into something resembling real human expression, children will return to school and the joy of old friends, drugs, and weapons that they missed over the summer, and everyone, at last, will get some rest. Come September, Theophilus Crowe, the town constable, lovingly clips the sticky purple buds from his sensimilla plants. Mavis, down at the Head of the Slug Saloon, funnels her top-shelf liquors back into the well from whence they came. The tree service guys, with their chain saws, take down the dead and dying pines lest they crash through someone's roof with the winter storms. Woodpiles grow tall and wide around Pine Cove homes and the chimney sweep goes to a twelve-hour workday. The sunscreen and needless souvenir shit shelf at Brine's Bait, Tackle, and Fine Wines is cleared and restocked with candles, flashlight batteries, and lamp oil. (Monterey pine trees have notoriously shallow root systems and an affinity for falling on power lines.) At the Pine Cove Boutique, the hideous reindeer sweater is marked up for winter to await being marked back down for the tenth consecutive spring. In Pine Cove, where nothing happens (or at least nothing has happened for a long time), September is an event: a quiet celebration. The people like their events quiet. The reason they came here from the cities in the first place was to get away from things happening. September is a celebration of sameness. Each September is like the last. Except for this year. This year three things happened. Not big things, by city standards, but three things that coldcocked the beloved status quo nonetheless: forty miles to the south, a tiny and not very dangerous leak opened in a cooling pipe at the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Power Plant; Mavis Sand advertised in Songwriter magazine for a Blues singer to play through the winter at the Head of the Slug Saloon; and Bess Leander, wife and mother of two, hung herself. Three things, omens if you will. September is a promise of what is to come. Admitting You Have a Problem ââ¬Å"Dear, dear, how queer everything is today! And yesterday everything went on just as usual. I wonder if I've been changed in the night? Let me think: Was I the same when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is: Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle!â⬠ââ¬â LEWIS CARROLL, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland One Theophilus Crowe As dead people went, Bess Leander smelled pretty good: lavender, sage, and a hint of clove. There were seven Shaker chairs hung on pegs on the walls of the Leanders' dining room. The eighth was overturned under Bess, who hung from the peg by a calico cloth rope around her neck. Dried flowers, baskets of various shapes and sizes, and bundles of dried herbs hung from the open ceiling beams. Theophilus Crowe knew he should be doing cop stuff, but he just stood there with two emergency medical technicians from the Pine Cove Fire Department, staring up at Bess as if they were inspecting the newly installed angel on a Christmas tree. Theo thought the pastel blue of Bess's skin went nicely with her cornflower-blue dress and the patterns of the English china displayed on simple wooden shelves at the end of the room. It was 7 A.M. and Theo, as usual, was a little stoned. Theo could hear sobs coming from upstairs, where Joseph Leander held his two daughters, who were still in their nightgowns. There was no evid-ence of a masculine presence anywhere in the house. It was Country Cute: bare pine floors and bent willow baskets, flowers and rag dolls and herb-flavored vinegars in blown-glass bottles; Shaker antiques, copper kettles, embroidery samplers, spinning wheels, lace doilies, and porcelain placards with prayers from the Dutch. Not a sports page or remote control in sight. Not a thing out of place or a speck of dust anywhere. Joseph Leander must have walked very light to live in this house without leaving tracks. A man less sensitive than Theo might have called him whipped. ââ¬Å"That guy's whipped,â⬠one of the EMTs said. His name was Vance McNally. He was fifty-one, short and muscular, and wore his hair slicked back with oil, just as he had in high school. Occasionally, in his capacity as an EMT, he saved lives, which was his rationalization for being a dolt the rest of the time. ââ¬Å"He just found his wife hanging in the dining room, Vance,â⬠Theo pronounced over the heads of the EMTs. He was six-foot-six, and even in his flannel shirt and sneakers he could loom large when he needed to assert some authority. ââ¬Å"She looks like Raggedy Ann,â⬠said Mike, the other EMT, who was in his early twenties and excited to be on his first suicide call. ââ¬Å"I heard she was Amish,â⬠Vance said. ââ¬Å"She's not Amish,â⬠Theo said. ââ¬Å"I didn't say she was Amish, I just said I heard that. I figured she wasn't Amish when I saw the blender in the kitchen. Amish don't believe in blenders, do they?â⬠ââ¬Å"Mennonite,â⬠Mike said with as much authority as his junior status would afford. ââ¬Å"What's a Mennonite?â⬠Vance asked. ââ¬Å"Amish with blenders.â⬠ââ¬Å"She wasn't Amish,â⬠Theo said. ââ¬Å"She looks Amish,â⬠Vance said. ââ¬Å"Well, her husband's not Amish,â⬠Mike said. ââ¬Å"How can you tell?â⬠Vance said. ââ¬Å"He has a beard.â⬠ââ¬Å"Zipper on his jacket,â⬠Mike said. ââ¬Å"Amish don't have zippers.â⬠Vance shook his head. ââ¬Å"Mixed marriages. They never work.â⬠ââ¬Å"She wasn't Amish!â⬠Theo shouted. ââ¬Å"Think what you want, Theo, there's a butter churn in the living room. I think that says it all.â⬠Mike rubbed at a mark on the wall beneath Bess's feet where her black buckled shoes had scraped as she convulsed. ââ¬Å"Don't touch anything,â⬠Theo said. ââ¬Å"Why? She can't yell at us, she's dead. We wiped our feet on the way in,â⬠Vance said. Mike stepped away from the wall. ââ¬Å"Maybe she couldn't stand anything touching her floors. Hanging was the only way.â⬠Not to be outdone by the detective work of his protg, Vance said, ââ¬Å"You know, the sphincters usually open up on a hanging victim ââ¬â leave an awful mess. I'm wondering if she actually hanged herself.â⬠ââ¬Å"Shouldn't we call the police?â⬠Mike said. ââ¬Å"I am the police,â⬠Theo said. He was Pine Cove's only constable, duly elected eight years ago and reelected every other year thereafter. ââ¬Å"No, I mean the real police,â⬠Mike said. ââ¬Å"I'll radio the sheriff,â⬠Theo said. ââ¬Å"I don't think there's anything you can do here, guys. Would you mind calling Pastor Williams from the Presby-terian church to come over? I need to talk to Joseph and I need someone to stay with the girls.â⬠ââ¬Å"They were Presbyterians?â⬠Vance seemed shocked. He had really put his heart into the Amish theory. ââ¬Å"Please call,â⬠Theo said. He left the EMTs and went out through the kitchen to his Volvo, where he switched the radio over to the frequency used by the San Junipero Sheriff's Department, then sat there staring at the mike. He was going to catch hell from Sheriff Burton for this. ââ¬Å"North Coast is yours, Theo. All yours,â⬠the sheriff had said. My deputies will pick up suspects, answer robbery calls, and let the Highway Patrol investigate traffic accidents on Highway 1, that's it. Otherwise, you keep them out of Pine Cove and your little secret stays secret.â⬠Theo was forty-one years old and he still felt as if he was hiding from the junior high vice principal, laying low. Things like this weren't supposed to happen in Pine Cove. Nothing happened in Pine Cove. He took a quick hit from his Sneaky Pete smokeless pot pipe before keying the mike and calling in the deputies. Joseph Leander sat on the edge of the bed. He'd changed out of his pajamas into a blue business suit, but his thinning hair was still sticking out in sleep horns on the side. He was thirty-five, sandy-haired, thin but working on a paunch that strained the buttons of his vest. Theo sat across from him on a chair, holding a notepad. They could hear the sheriff's deputies moving around downstairs. ââ¬Å"I can't believe she'd do this,â⬠Joseph said. Theo reached over and squeezed the grieving husband's bicep. ââ¬Å"I'm really sorry, Joe. She didn't say anything that would indicate she was thinking about doing something like this?â⬠Joseph shook his head without looking up. ââ¬Å"She was getting better. Val had given her some pills and she seemed to be getting better.â⬠ââ¬Å"She was seeing Valerie Riordan?â⬠Theo asked. Valerie was Pine Cove's only clinical psychiatrist. ââ¬Å"Do you know what kind of pills?â⬠ââ¬Å"Zoloft,â⬠Joseph said. ââ¬Å"I think it's an antidepressant.â⬠Theo wrote down the name of the drug on his notepad. ââ¬Å"Then Bess was depressed?â⬠ââ¬Å"No, she just had this cleaning thing. Everything had to be cleaned every day. She'd clean something, then go back five minutes later and clean it again. She was making life miserable for the girls and me. She'd make us take our shoes and socks off, then wash our feet in a basin before we came into the house. But she wasn't depressed.â⬠Theo wrote down ââ¬Å"crazyâ⬠on his notepad. ââ¬Å"When was the last time Bess went to see Val?â⬠ââ¬Å"Maybe six weeks ago. When she first got the pills. She really seemed to be doing better. She even left the dishes in the sink overnight once. I was proud of her.â⬠ââ¬Å"Where are her pills, Joseph?â⬠ââ¬Å"Medicine cabinet.â⬠Joseph gestured to the bathroom. Theo excused himself and went to the bathroom. The brown prescription bottle was the only thing in the medicine cabinet other than disinfectants and some Q-Tips. The bottle was about half-full. ââ¬Å"I'm going to take these with me,â⬠Theo said, pocketing the pills. ââ¬Å"The sheriff's deputies are going to ask you some of these same questions, Joseph. You just tell them what you told me, okay? Joseph nodded. ââ¬Å"I think I should be with the girls.â⬠ââ¬Å"Just a bit longer, okay? I'll send up the deputy in charge.â⬠Theo heard a car start outside and went to the window to see an ambulance pulling away, the lights and siren off. Bess Leander's body riding off to the morgue. He turned back to Joseph. ââ¬Å"Call me if you need anything. I'm going to go talk to Val Riordan.â⬠Joseph stood up. ââ¬Å"Theo, don't tell anyone that Bess was on antidepressants. She didn't want anyone to know. She was ashamed.â⬠ââ¬Å"I won't. Call me if you need me.â⬠Theo left the room. A sharply dressed plainclothes deputy met him at the bottom of the steps. Theo saw by the badge on his belt that he was a detective sergeant. ââ¬Å"You're Crowe. John Voss.â⬠He extended his hand and Theo shook it. ââ¬Å"We're supposed to take it from here,â⬠Voss said. ââ¬Å"What have you got?â⬠Theo was at once relieved and offended. Sheriff Burton was going to push him off the case without even talking to him. ââ¬Å"No note,â⬠Theo said. ââ¬Å"I called you guys ten minutes after I got the call. Joseph said she wasn't depressed, but she was on medication. He came downstairs to have breakfast and found her.â⬠ââ¬Å"Did you look around?â⬠Voss asked. ââ¬Å"This place has been scoured. There isn't a smudge or a spot anywhere. It's like someone cleaned up the scene.â⬠ââ¬Å"She did that,â⬠Theo said. ââ¬Å"She was a clean freak.â⬠Voss scoffed. ââ¬Å"She cleaned the house, then hung herself? Please.â⬠Theo shrugged. He really didn't like this cop stuff. ââ¬Å"I'm going to go talk to her psychiatrist. I'll let you know what she says.â⬠ââ¬Å"Don't talk to anybody, Crowe. This is my investigation.â⬠Theo smiled. ââ¬Å"Okay. But she hung herself and that's all there is. Don't make it into anything it's not. The family is in pretty bad shape.â⬠ââ¬Å"I'm a professional,â⬠Voss said, throwing it like an insult, implying that Theo was just dicking around in law enforcement, which, in a way, he was. ââ¬Å"Did you check out the Amish cult angle?â⬠Theo asked, trying to keep a straight face. Maybe he shouldn't have gotten high today. ââ¬Å"What?â⬠ââ¬Å"Right, you're the pro,â⬠Theo said. ââ¬Å"I forgot.â⬠And he walked out of the house. In the Volvo, Theo pulled the thin Pine Cove phone directory out of the glove compartment and was looking up Dr. Valerie Riordan's number when a call came in on the radio. Fight at the Head of the Slug Saloon. It was 8:30 A.M. Mavis It was rumored among the regulars at the Head of the Slug that under Mavis Sand's slack, wrinkled, liver-spot ted skin lay the gleaming metal skeleton of a Terminator. Mavis first began augmenting her parts in the fifties, first out of vanity: breasts, eyelashes, hair. Later, as she aged and the concept of maintenance eluded her, she began having parts replaced as they failed, until almost half of her body weight was composed of stainless steel (hips, elbows, shoulders, finger joints, rods fused to vertebrae five through twelve), silicon wafers (hearing aids, pacemaker, insulin pump), advanced polymer resins (cataract replace-ment lenses, dentures), Kevlar fabric (abdominal wall reinforcement), ti-tanium (knees, ankles), and pork (ventricular heart valve). In fact, if not for the pig valve, Mavis would have jumped classes directly from animal to mineral, without the traditional stop at vegetable taken by most. The more inventive drunks at the Slug (little more than vegetables themsel ves) swore that sometimes, between songs on the jukebox, one could hear tiny but powerful servomotors whirring Mavis around behind the bar. Mavis was careful never to crush a beer can or move a full keg in plain sight of the customers lest she feed the rumors and ruin her image of girlish vulner-ability. When Theo entered the Head of the Slug, he saw ex-scream-queen Molly Michon on the floor with her teeth locked into the calf of a gray-haired man who was screeching like a mashed cat. Mavis stood over them both, brandishing her Louisville Slugger, ready to belt one of them out of the park. ââ¬Å"Theo,â⬠Mavis shrilled, ââ¬Å"you got ten seconds to get this wacko out of my bar before I brain her.â⬠ââ¬Å"No, Mavis.â⬠Theo raced forward and knocked Mavis's bat aside while reaching into his back pocket for his handcuffs. He pried Molly's hands from around the man's ankle and shackled them behind her back. The gray-haired man's screams hit a higher pitch. Theo got down on the floor and spoke into Molly's ear. ââ¬Å"Let go, Molly. You've got to let go of the man's leg.â⬠An animal sound emanated from Molly's throat and bubbled out through blood and saliva. Theo stroked her hair out of her face. ââ¬Å"I can't fix the problem if you don't tell me what it is, Molly. I can't understand you with that guy's leg in your mouth.â⬠ââ¬Å"Stand back, Theo,â⬠Mavis said. ââ¬Å"I'm going to brain her.â⬠Theo waved Mavis away. The gray-haired man screamed even louder. ââ¬Å"Hey!â⬠Theo shouted. ââ¬Å"Pipe down. I'm trying to have a conversation here.â⬠The gray-haired man lowered his volume. ââ¬Å"Molly, look at me.â⬠Theo saw a blue eye look away from the leg and the bloodlust faded from it. He had her back. ââ¬Å"That's right, Molly. It's me, Theo. Now what's the problem?â⬠She spit out the man's leg and turned to look at Theo. Mavis helped the man to a bar stool. ââ¬Å"Get her out of here,â⬠Mavis said. ââ¬Å"She's eighty-sixed. This time forever.â⬠Theo kept his eyes locked on Molly's. ââ¬Å"Are you okay?â⬠She nodded. Bloody drool was running down her chin. Theo grabbed a bar napkin and wiped it away, careful to keep his fingers away from her mouth. ââ¬Å"I'm going to help you up now and we're going to go outside and talk about this, okay?â⬠Molly nodded and Theo picked her up by the shoulders, set her on her feet, and steered her toward the door. He looked over his shoulder at the bitten man. ââ¬Å"You okay? You need a doctor?â⬠ââ¬Å"I didn't do anything to her. I've never seen that woman before in my life. I just stopped in for a drink.â⬠Theo looked at Mavis for confirmation. ââ¬Å"He hit on her,â⬠Mavis said. ââ¬Å"But that's no excuse. A girl should appreciate the attention.â⬠She turned and batted her spiderlike false eyelashes at the bitten man. ââ¬Å"I could show you some appreciation, sweetie.â⬠The bitten man looked around in a panic. ââ¬Å"No, I'm fine. No doctor. I'm just fine. My wife's waiting for me.â⬠ââ¬Å"As long as you're okay,â⬠Theo said. ââ¬Å"And you don't want to press charges or anything?â⬠ââ¬Å"No, just a misunderstanding. Soon as you get her out of here, I'll be heading out of town.â⬠There was a collective sigh of disappointment from the regulars who had been placing side bets on who Mavis would hit with her bat. ââ¬Å"Thanks,â⬠Theo said. He shot Mavis a surreptitious wink and led Molly out to the street, excusing himself and his prisoner as they passed an old Black man who was coming through the door carrying a guitar case. ââ¬Å"I ââ¬Ëspose a man run outta sweet talk and liquor, he gots to go to mo' direct measures,â⬠the old Black man said to the bar with a dazzling grin. ââ¬Å"Someone here lookin fo' a Bluesman?â⬠Molly Michon Theo put Molly into the passenger side of the Volvo. She sat with her head down, her great mane of gray-streaked blonde hair hanging in her face. She wore an oversized green sweater, tights, and high-top sneakers, one red, one blue. She could have been thirty or fifty ââ¬â and she told Theo a different age every time he picked her up. Theo went around the car and climbed in. He said, ââ¬Å"You know, Molly, when you bite a guy on the leg, you're right on the edge of ââ¬Ëa danger to others or yourself,' you know that?â⬠She nodded and sniffled. A tear dropped out of the mass of hair and spotted her sweater. ââ¬Å"Before I start driving, I need to know that you're calmed down. Do I need to put you in the backseat?â⬠ââ¬Å"It wasn't a fit,â⬠Molly said. ââ¬Å"I was defending myself. He wanted a piece of me.â⬠She lifted her head and turned to Theo, but her hair still covered her face. ââ¬Å"Are you taking your drugs?â⬠ââ¬Å"Meds, they call them meds.â⬠ââ¬Å"Sorry,â⬠Theo said. ââ¬Å"Are you taking your meds?â⬠She nodded. ââ¬Å"Wipe your hair out of your face, Molly, I can barely understand you.â⬠ââ¬Å"Handcuffs, whiz kid.â⬠Theo almost slapped his forehead: idiot! He really needed to stop getting stoned on the job. He reached up and carefully brushed her hair away from her face. The expression he found there was one of bemusement. ââ¬Å"You don't have to be so careful. I don't bite.â⬠Theo smiled. ââ¬Å"Well, actuallyâ⬠¦Ã¢â¬ ââ¬Å"Oh fuck you. You going to take me to County?â⬠ââ¬Å"Should I?â⬠ââ¬Å"I'll just be back in seventy-two and the milk in my refrigerator will be spoiled.â⬠ââ¬Å"Then I'd better take you home.â⬠He started the car and circled the block to head back to the Fly Rod Trailer Court. He would have taken a back way if he could, to save Molly some embarrassment, but the Fly Rod was right off Cypress, Pine Cove's main street. As they passed the bank, people getting out of their cars turned to stare. Molly made faces at them out the window. ââ¬Å"That doesn't help, Molly.â⬠ââ¬Å"Fuck 'em. Fans just want a piece of me. I can give 'em that. I've got my soul.â⬠ââ¬Å"Mighty generous of you.â⬠ââ¬Å"If you weren't a fan, I wouldn't let you do this.â⬠ââ¬Å"Well, I am. Huge fan.â⬠Actually, he'd never heard of her until the first time he was called to take her away from H.P.'s Cafe, where she had attacked the espresso machine because it wouldn't quit staring at her. ââ¬Å"No one understands. Everyone takes a piece of you, then there's nothing left for you. Even the meds take a piece of you. Do you have any idea what I'm talking about here?â⬠Theo looked at her. ââ¬Å"I have such a mind-numbing fear of the future that the only way I can function at all is with equal amounts of denial and drugs.â⬠ââ¬Å"Jeez, Theo, you're really fucked up.â⬠ââ¬Å"Thanks.â⬠ââ¬Å"You can't go around saying crazy shit like that.â⬠ââ¬Å"I don't normally. It's been a tough day so far.â⬠He turned into the Fly Rod Trailer Court: twenty run-down trailers perched on the bank of Santa Rosa Creek, which carried only a trickle of water after the long, dry summer. A grove of cypress trees hid the trailer park from the main street and the view of passing tourists. The chamber of commerce had made the owner of the park take down the sign at the entrance. The Fly Rod was a dirty little secret for Pine Cove, and they kept it well. Theo stopped in front of Molly's trailer, a vintage fifties single-wide with small louvered windows and streaks of rust running from the roof. He got Molly out of the car and took off the handcuffs. Theo said, ââ¬Å"I'm going to see Val Riordan. You want me to have her call something in to the pharmacy for you?â⬠ââ¬Å"No, I've got my meds. I don't like 'em, but I got 'em.â⬠She rubbed her wrists. ââ¬Å"Why you going to see Val? You going nuts?â⬠ââ¬Å"Probably, but this is business. You going to be okay now?â⬠ââ¬Å"I have to study my lines.â⬠ââ¬Å"Right.â⬠Theo started to go, then turned. ââ¬Å"Molly, what were you doing at the Slug at eight in the morning?â⬠ââ¬Å"How should I know?â⬠ââ¬Å"If the guy at the Slug had been a local, I'd be taking you to County right now, you know that?â⬠ââ¬Å"I wasn't having a fit. He wanted a piece of me.â⬠ââ¬Å"Stay out of the Slug for a while. Stay home. Just groceries, okay?â⬠ââ¬Å"You won't talk to the tabloids?â⬠He handed her a business card. ââ¬Å"Next time someone tries to take a piece of you, call me. I always have the cell phone with me.â⬠She pulled up her sweater and tucked the card into the waistband of her tights, then, still holding up her sweater, she turned and walked to her trailer with a slow sway. Thirty or fifty, under the sweater she still had a figure. Theo watched her walk, forgetting for a minute who she was. Without looking back, she said, ââ¬Å"What if it's you, Theo? Who do I call then?â⬠Theo shook his head like a dog trying to clear water from its ears, then crawled into the Volvo and drove away. I've been alone too long, he thought.
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